“I don’t care who these chumps are, ‘Extra Guessing’—this is MY podcast. I’ll destroy those a—Oh, we’re rolling?
Hello, listeners. Today I have grave news: the Web Headed Menace has been joined by a new threat to our great city—nay, to the ENTIRE WORLD WIDE WEB! GET IT? ‘WEB’?
But seriously folks, you know you can trust me, J. Jonah Jameson, to bring you the FACTS and TRUTH. But these two, Curtis and Sol of ‘Surplus Conjecture’—who even are they? Are we supposed to just ASSUME they don’t have links to THE USSR? Or the FLAT EARTH SOCIETY? WHO ARE THEY?
Well I’ll tell you who they are. Phonies. Fakes. Invading MY CYBERSPACE to try and tell you about Spider-Man. Have they ever had anything critical to say about him? OF COURSE NOT. Why? Because THEY ARE ON THE SAME SIDE! Spider-Man and the jackasses at ‘Surplus Conjecture’—they’re both trying to CAPITALIZE on the DAMAGE and CHAOS that WE ALL HAVE TO LIVE IN EVERY DAY. And for what?
They SAY it’s to tell you about Spider-Man on the Playstation 4, but I see through it. They couldn’t care less about YOUR enjoyment. They just want your clicks. Your views. Your subscription. Please. Pathetic.”